Enjoy.

The sun had staked its claim high in the sky, unleashing sweltering heat mixed with a million molecules of pollutants and haze. This time, the light and heat felt more vicious, like the sun was venting its frustrations and punishing me with its combined powers and my black shirt. I could only hope my sunglasses and the trees in this urban forest protected me from the sun’s intentions to blind me. I looked around, hoping to find something to distract me from playing the role of the sun’s lunch.  

In the distance, I saw someone walking with their back to me before disappearing behind a large tree. I squinted, trying to focus my wavering vision. I tried convincing myself that the person who had vanished so suddenly behind a tree was just an ordinary human. After all, this was a big forest in the middle of a metropolis, there must be other people here besides me. And it was broad daylight, ghosts were probably too lazy to leave their lairs in this oppressive heat.

With determined steps, I approached the tree where the person had inexplicably disappeared. I circled the tree but did not find anyone or even a footprint to indicate someone had stepped in this area. I circled the tree again, and again, but still found nothing. My vision was becoming more warped instead, the ground appeared to undulate and heave, the tree trunks seemed to expand and contract as if breathing, when I looked up the sun seemed intent on murdering me. I closed my eyes.

In the darkness of my own eyelids, I could see something I didn't notice when my eyes were open. I saw beautiful, kaleidoscopic colors and patterns flashing across the pitch black backdrop. As time passed, the colors grew brighter and the patterns more intricate. Soon, the speed of the changing colors and patterns intensified dramatically. What I was witnessing in this darkness was no better than what I saw outside. 

The frantic speed of the shifting colors was maddening, I wanted to open my eyes but I couldn’t. I collapsed to the ground, nauseous, feeling sweat pouring from every pore and still unable to open my eyes. My hands grasped blindly at anything they could find - leaves, dirt, anything. The further my hands explored, I felt another pair of hands calmly take hold of mine. The moment our hands met, whatever was tormenting me in the darkness ceased instantly.

My breathing was ragged, my body drenched in sweat. I slowly opened my eyes, gradually letting in the soft, warm, comforting light, so different from the sun's rays earlier. As my vision focused, I saw a beautiful woman smiling down at me. She was familiar. The woman didn’t say a word, but I could hear her cheerful voice in my head, “Hello again, we meet once more.” Yes, I recognized this woman. 

"I know you, don't I?" I asked. "But I can't remember who you are or where...or when we met."

“You’ve always been forgetful,” she said with a wry smile.  

I stood up and cleaned myself off. The woman rose with me, gazing silently. I studied her face intently, trying unsuccessfully to conjure up memories of her buried somewhere in my brain. She chuckled at my obvious confusion.

“Figure it out yet?” she asked playfully. 

“We didn't first meet here, right?” 

She didn’t answer, but stepped closer to me. Her face was serene and soothing. She extended her right hand towards me while her left hand touched the same large tree that had hidden the person I'd seen earlier. Wait - was that vanishing person this woman? Before I could confirm, her index finger touched my forehead dead center. Instantly, I felt a strange sensation. Hard to describe. Far too complex for words yet as simple as the alphabet. My mouth gaped in bewilderment as I received...something...from her touch on my skin. Warm, pleasant, guiding my eyes to close again and surrender everything back to the darkness. A stream of hazy memories flowed through my dark vision, memories I didn't recall ever living through, yet I knew they were mine. I opened my eyes.

"Go to the place you departed from," she said.  

"Lucy?" I remembered her name.

"Go to the place you departed from," she repeated.

"What do you mean?"

"You never understand, no matter how many times I give you all that I have." Her statement only confused me more.

"Lucy, I remember your name now. Why are you here?"

"It's not the name you need to remember. There are far more important things you must recall. Why are you here?" She shot the question back at me. Oddly, that simple inquiry felt like a stab to my heart. My tongue froze, my brain cramped, I couldn't answer her. Moments later, she removed her hand from my forehead.

"Go to the place you departed from," she said, stepping backward. Away from me.

"Hey, wait! What do you mean?" 

"Go to the place you departed from." She moved further away, starting to fade.  

Her form faded, transforming into a spiral of colors. The colors were foreign yet familiar. They spun in an orderly fashion towards a focal point in the distance. Coming together, entering that point. Growing smaller and smaller until they disappeared. Without warning, that tiny point suddenly exploded. Spewing millions of colors across the entire universe, saturating every tree trunk, the soil, the sky, eclipsing the sun. The earth became Wonderland.

There were sounds echoing continuously in my head. The thumping of my heartbeat, leaves rustling in coded communication, I could even hear the flowing of water like rivers stemming from my own blood flow. What was happening?

"Stop asking, start answering," Lucy's voice rang out. I looked around desperately, hoping to find her near me but nothing. It was just me in this colorful forest.

"Why are you here?" I was indicted again by the question from somewhere. I still couldn't answer. 

"Why did you leave?"

"Where did you leave from?"

"How far did you go?"

"What have you found?"

"What is your destination?"

The questions kept assaulting every part of my brain like homework demanding immediate attention. I didn't understand any of this. What the hell was going on? Who was Lucy? Why was her voice nested in my head? What's with this world? What were these colors?

"Stop asking! Answer!" Lucy's voice firmly trampled me internally as my head grew louder. I was afraid. This was all a dream. No, I wasn't crazy. Lucy, I didn't know who she was but I had to get her out of my head. She was just an imaginary demon disrupting my sleep. This world was nothing, merely a dream. Someone, please, wake me up.

"Breathe, your answers aren't something you need to think about. The answers flow through every living element inside you." Lucy's voice still echoed in my head.

This made no sense. I inhaled as deeply as I could, held it in my swelling lungs, and released it slowly. I still hadn't woken from this dream but I found some calm. The noises in my head weren't as intense as before. I kept breathing steadily, expelling the clutter and dust clouding my thoughts with each exhalation. I sat down cross-legged on the ground, closed my eyes, and continued regulating my breath. This darkness was tranquil, pulsating in sync with the rhythm of my breathing. The voices in my head grew fainter but I could still hear the questions whispering, waiting for replies.

This darkness was me. The answers to the questions in my head were stored here. Where did I leave from? I left from the darkness, from oblivion, from nothingness. Why did I leave? Because I had to or maybe I was forced to. How far did I go? Very far, becoming everything - light, existence, human, devil, God - I was everything. What all did I obtain? Too much - love, hurt, traps, betrayal, too much. Why am I here?...the answer escaped me, I couldn't respond to this one, why? I opened my eyes, the forest was still colorful. One change, Lucy had manifested again before me. She smiled. 

"We're both still young, so much still left for us to experience. The path ahead remains long," Lucy said gently.

"I answered those questions but some I don't understand. How can I answer if I don't even understand the answers?" 

"We're still infants. Before all that, there's much we need to comprehend. So, why are you here?"

"Are you doing this just to confuse me?" Lucy laughed, then extended her right hand towards me. 

"For this one, the answer lies only with me." I grasped her hand, laying my right palm over hers. She closed her eyes. What happened next was no less insane than everything prior. She transformed once more into a fusion of millions of colors, slipping into my body through our connected hands. After she had entered seamlessly and merged with me, I obtained one final answer.

"Lysergic acid diethylamide,"

"Fuck."