The only thing I remember is the rain of bullets, now I can only lie limp. My shoulders and stomach feel warm and wet. The sound of the world resurfaced in my ears after an instant disappearance just a few moment ago, the full moon was not enough to illuminate this darkness, and a fishy smell mixed with earth and burnt burst into my nostrils. I want to move my body, get up and then run as fast as I can. Back home. The firefight seemed to have stopped, only the wind nudged the leaves. I want to go home.
I see and hear people shouting my name.
"Merto!" Voice one.
"Merto! Hang in there, stay with me!" Voice two. He even slapped my cheek.
Other voices were shouting my name too, maybe four or five voices. Or twenty. I don't know, I'm confused. Pain is beginning to appear in my body.
"Merto!" The Voice Two is still calling my name while continuing to slap my cheeks. I'm starting to see his face. Looks like he's my friend, Vida. Yes, I'm sure, He's Vida.
The pain is getting worse in every inch of my body. As time passed, the pain becomes more intense. I groaned for the first time since lying limp a few minutes ago.
"Morphine! Leo, quickly bring me morphine!" Vida's voice barked louder than what I'm used to hear and sounded a little strange. Like there's fear in his vocal cords.
"Vida ..." I tried to deliver a long dialogue. But all I can get out is his name.
"Merto, hang in there, okay? We're going to get you home, Pal." The sentence sounded warm and comfortable. But it's clear that this pain is engulfing it all. I mooed again.
My body started shaking. Warm and wet, now slowly becoming cool and sticky. I see sulfa powder in several parts of my body, Vida and the others are trying to cover what they can and stop the leak in my body. Funny, we don't even have antibiotics. But all of them work together for me, trying to keep me in the hug of time and space. Like at home. This just looks like my house.
I miss my parents, they have been dead for a long time and I never stop missing them. Am I going to die? Finally meet them and make up for longing of mine. Shit, I have my own family. What would Vida say to my wife and children if I didn't survive this sticky and smelly cold? Even so, I'm sure he can pick a good line and keep my family stand on their own feet. I miss my mum. It's hurt. My gaze gets darker. With each breath, the pain is multiplied by two.
"Mama ..." There's something wet in my eyelids. Either crying or blood. Or maybe just both.
"Merto, calm down. Your wife is waiting at home. I beg you ..." I could hear Vida sobbing.
"Mama ...
"Mama ..."
My ears are buzzing. My gaze grew closed by the vignette, the smaller the circle becomes. The pain began to disappear, little by little. Either it's the morphine effect, or I'm getting closer to the end.
"Mama ..."
I miss you.
"Mama ...."
It's dark and cold out here, Ma. Please pick me up. I am alone.
Vida's voice can still be heard. He cried. I am sure that after the crying is over, He will go crazy and torment every enemy; who are still alive, or simply give extra bullets to those who are already dead. I'm sorry, friend, Mama has already picked me up. See you on the other side. I regretted nothing.
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!
December 25, 2020. For those who volunteered on the front lines, keep what they believe in.
