Entry: Day 1, We are Nothing

Desember 11, 2020

Hampir setahun penuh penulis tunggal Blog ini mengalami writer's block. Beberapa rekan menyarankan untuk tidak berpikir dan tulis apa saja yang ada di kepala. "Anggap sebagai katarsis," kata mereka. Maka terciptalah post ini. Post-post tulisan katarsis ini akan disusun menjadi bentuk diary atau jurnal logging di mana tiap post berjudul 'Entry' diikuti dengan hari keberapa tulisan itu di-post. Isi tulisan pun pastinya akan lebih abstrak dengan multibahasa yang acakadut. Entah sampai kapan, aku harap tidak terlalu lama dan semoga blog ini kembali ke nilai moral dan estetikanya agar bisa berfungsi sesuai dan sejalan dengan penulisnya. Tulisan-tulisan ini diunggah ke blog demi untuk menjaga laman elektronik tetap hidup, tidak seperti rumah kosong yang dipakai shooting film untuk beberapa bulan dan kemudian dibiarkan kosong kembali. Selain itu, jujur, aku butuh teman untuk membaca. Dan tentu, adsense.


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We have so many control in pretty much ... Nothing?
So, calm down. Nothing really matters and we're all going to die anyway!
You're not going to do any remarkable things, everything has been created and discovered, all you do is just recycling things.
The best thing you can do is dream about a job you're really passionate about while in reality the best you can achieve is a shitty job with under minimun wage. It's ok, you also can dream about how you pave your way through it and finally get a decent position with great salary in the company or business you work in ... Well, until reality hits you in the guts?
Don't be sad, maybe your lover is always going to be there for you until death do you part. Yeah? Well, if she or he (or non-binary things?) doesn't sleep with any other guys. Or if she or he can endure the stress of life together with you until eventually ... You know, die? That's pretty much it.

We are just human. An irrelevant thing living on a lonely floating space rock revolving a giant gas ball of a little solar system among other systems we know no shit about, in a little part of giant arse galaxy between another giant arse galaxies which is also a part of a little universe cluster of another neighbouring godly big big arse clusters. God knows what else in there ...

We have nothing in control. We're just making up shits to make us feel we're in control, but frankly, we don't even know what the fuck is the point of our lives.

Funny that we're doing everything to make ourselves feel good. Telling the mirror how beautiful we are, while not believing it. Telling ourselves that we're worth of everything we got, while not really sure about it. Hitting our heads to submission and telling it that happiness is something we need, without knowing what happiness really is. Putting different masks for society just to fucking fit in. Even we created these social systems, religions, laws, arts; just got to that part, things we do to make ourselves feel good is already irrelevant.

How about just be miserable? We were born in a pretty much miserable and literally shitty situation. Covered up in bloods and filth, the first sound we ever made was a cry, the main wager on the table was our mothers' lives, and we were a helpless chunk of breathing meat for the first two years.

We're also forgetting that we're going to bring misery when we die. Not to mention that we're all surrounded by misery since the first breath we took until the last breath. What is happiness anyway? We'll get everything, make everything, do everything but we'll still be miserable. We'll always be.

What's the point to be happy when misery is in our genes? We need to find or make happiness on our own, but we only need a crashing train of thoughts to be miserable.

The point is;
Be miserable, not happy.
Be a dick, you were born for it.

... Cheers?
December 10th, 2020.

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